The Red Button Of Certain Doom
by Grell The Leper
Summary: Sebastian and Grell were investigating a crime, when the shinigami came across a shiny red button.Naturally, he had to press it, and now he and Sebastian have accidentally swapped bodies!They need to switch back and soon before they both ruin everything
1. Chapter 1

_Honestly I don't know where this one came out of. I think I was gone a bit mad when it came to me. Ever see Freaky Friday? It's like that, but good. I hope. Bitta Grelliam going on, because my obsession knows no bounds, and possibly the tiniest hint of CielxSebby later on, I haven't decided yet. Also, I am aware that there weren't phones back then, or songs about gay bars, but there weren't any chainsaws or lawnmowers either, so who says Reapers can't have phones? It's going to be separated into two chapters, maybe three depending on how long it takes. So yeah, go ahead and read it, and let me know what you think :D_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_**The Red Button Of Certain Doom**_

Sebastian knew he shouldn't have brought Grell along. He'd had a gut feeling, a gut feeling that he'd stupidly ignored. Sure, the flamboyant Reaper had a few useful talents, but he always had to cause some sort of trouble. This specific trouble, however, was just taking the biscuit. Along with the tin they were kept in and the baker that made them.

It hadn't started out too badly. Sebastian had leads to follow on his bocchan's latest investigation, which involved the discovery of hoards of mutated and disfigured corpses, and Grell had agreed to put his chainsaw to use. The pair had scoured the city together without a hitch, though the demon did have to shoot down a few well-mannered flirts. The two had tailed their main suspect down to an abandoned old house, and as luck would have it, what appeared to be underground laboratory.

"Hmm.. Doctor Kaye Connell. Her basement is just as suspicious as she is."

"I think somebody's a bit of a creeper. It's a pity she's not a pervert too. I was hoping for it'd be some kind of bondage basement I could enjoy with my Sebas-chan," Grell wined, poking at the strange metal contraptions around the room.

"Do try not to be so vulgar, Mr. Sutcliff," the demon replied with a roll of his crimson eyes. The basement, though a little dirty and blood splattered, was obviously used quite often. The room was filed with all sorts of mechanical contraptions and what appeared to be medical equipment, most of which the pair had never seen. To Grell, everything just _screamed_ secret laboratory of a mad scientist.

While Sebastian was making use of himself, and actually searching for hard evidence, Grell was busy admiring his reflection on the surface of a shiny machine.

"I am too fabulous for this world.. Ooh, what's this?" Grell crooned before being distracted by a nearby button. A large, red, button that appeared to be glowing, and Grell could just hear it, begging him to press it, and Grell wasn't going to let it plead forever.

"Grell, no! Don't touch that, it could be-" Sebastian yelled too late as the Reaper gave in to temptation, pressing the button with great vigour, and the pair were enveloped in a blindingly white light.

* * *

><p>"Urgh.. Why must my favourite colour forsake me so?.. Why does my voice sound funny..?" Grell lifted a hand to his head, running his fingers through his hair. His hair that was suddenly <em>very<em> short. Panicking, he pulled locks of his hair in front of his eyes, where he could see it, and was horrified to discover that, not only was it ridiculously short, it was also black. A lot like Sebastian's. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he the realised he was missing his favourite red coat. Come to think of it, all of his clothes had been replaced, his glasses missing.

"What the hell is going on?" Grell screeched in a voice that was most definitely not his own. "Sebastian? Something weird is going on.. Sebby, where are you?" Grell turned around when he heard a groan. A dusty, yet still distinctly red, body moved slowly on the floor, long, red locks of hair covering their face. Not that it mattered to the Reaper, of course. He knew his own body when he saw it.

"Grell? Ugh, I warned you. My bocchan is still waiting for us, and now I'm going to be behind in my schedule," the other Grell said haughtily as he rose, brushing his sleeves mindlessly before freezing in shock.

"Sebas-chan..? Is that you? I think something has gone really, really wrong," Grell said, cringing slightly as Sebastian turned his death glare on him. It worked just as well with the Reaper's face as it did the demon's own.

"Grell. What did you do? Why am I apparently in your body?" Sebastian sounded calm. That was the scary part. It was the kind of calm that promised broken bones and bruised egos. Grell hadn't really appreciated how scary his voice could be before then.

"I didn't do anything, I just woke up like.. like this! You think I want this to happen? I can't live like this, it's so prim and proper, and there's no red! What will my William think of me if I go home like th-"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Or call, in this case. Grell's mini-rant was cut off by sound of an entirely obnoxious song suggesting a date at a gay bar.

"William! That's my Will calling, ooh, gimme, gimme!" the Reaper squealed, diving for his phone, now stored on Sebastian's person. The demon fell backwards as Grell leapt on him, rummaging in the pockets of his suit trousers.

"Will, darling! Oh, you won't believe what's happened, I-"

"Demon, scum! Why are you answering my employee's phone? That technology is for Shinigami only! Where is Sutcliff?" William demanded. Grell looked at the phone incredulously for a moment, wondering how his lover, of all people, could speak to him like that, before he realised. Not only did he look like Sebastian, he now sounded like the demon too. Of course, even William wouldn't expect them to have ended up in a predicament like that, so even with the all-too-familiar call of 'Will, darling,' Grell's stoic lover would just assume the demon had a few screws lose.

Before Grell could even blink, Sebastian had whipped the phone from the Reaper's hands and hung up, as if anticipating the oncoming emotional outburst.

"Just because he's your 'one true love,' doesn't mean he's going to realise it's you. He'll just think you're mental.. Or he'll think _I'm_ mental. Either way, we need to limit our contact with people until we sort out this mess-"

"Sebastian, what's taking you so long?" The demon and Shinigami both looked up in horror as Ciel Phantomhive came down the stairs of the basement. "I was starting to think you'd eloped with that _thing_."

"My apologies, my Lord, we were-"

"Do be quiet, Mr. Sutcliff, I was talking to Sebastian, not you." Sebastian quickly realised his mistake, clamping his mouth shut and giving Grell a little 'encouraging' kick.

"Ahem, you'll have to forgive me, _my Lord_, I was just so taken by this Reaper's beauty, I couldn't help but stare," Grell stated, trying his best to keep a straight face. Sebastian could only glare at him, while the young earl looked thoroughly disgusted.

"What on earth has gotten into you two? While you were down here messing about with that Reaper, Scotland Yard managed to catch the culprit first! You've left a blemish on the Phantomhive name, idiot demon!"

"He'll be lucky if I don't leave a blemish on him." The trio turned to the entrance once again as William T. Spears arrived on the scene, looking sterner than ever. Grell's natural reaction to launch on his lover and boss was thankfully quelled when Sebastian placed a hand on his leg. William, however, was not impressed.

"Sutcliff, get your hands off that scum, you're coming straight back to the office, and we will be having some very _serious_ words," the Reaper ordered, taking Sebastian by the hand. The demon's currently green eyes widened in horror while Grell tried to protest.

"Will, um, Mr. Spears, I don't think you should-"

"Come, Sebastian, we don't have time for this nonsense," Ciel demanded as William dragged Sebastian back to the Shinigami Realm. Grell gave a defeated sigh as he followed Ciel to the carriage. It was going to be a long day.

**To be continued..**


	2. Chapter 2

_I am so sorry everyone, I know, I'm a bad person, saying I'd update soon and then taking forever. I swear though, it's not my fault. I had anime conventions, and family parties, and constant drama rehearsal, and then my computer broke and it stayed that way for weeks. So, although I've had this chapter written for ages, I had no way of getting it online. But I digress._

_Welcome to the second chapter of what is probably the most difficult story I have ever written. I don't know what it is that made this one so difficult, maybe the lack of inspiration, or possibly the fact that it's so hard to keep someone in character when they're in another person's body. However, I refuse to leave a story unfinished. Besides, how else would I thank all of you fabulous readers who took the time to favourite and review the last chapter :D_

_So, without further ado, read, enjoy and review._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, as always.**

**The Red Button Of Certain Doom: Chapter 2**

Crash!

Grell winced as yet another tea tray fell to the floor, the third in as many minutes. He had forgotten exactly how difficult that whole butler business was. And now Ciel was glaring at him. Again.

"Sebastian, what is wrong with you today? Ever since you got back from that laboratory you've been acting strange. Surely a few blood splattered walls haven't had such an effect on a soul-hungry demon?" the young Earl snapped, annoyed by his distinct lack of lunch.

"Oh, would you just shut u- Um, my apologies... My Lord, I just, uh, have other things on my mind," Grell stumbled, trying to clean up the shattered teapot. He winced inwardly as Ciel scoffed at him, wondering how on earth he was going to get himself out of this mess. He could only hope that Sebastian was faring a little better...

* * *

><p>He wasn't faring better. Not at all. Sebastian gulped as William backed him up against the wall of his office. He had tried to fight and get away, of course, but it was almost like Grell's body was fighting against him. Every time the dark-haired Reaper pulled on Sebastian's ear, a tingle ran down his spine. Soon enough, it was a lot more than a tingle. The demon cringed as his back hit the wall, his 'problem' becoming even more obvious.<p>

"Am I no longer good enough for you, Sutcliff? That you feel the need to flirt with that demonic scum? I thought you'd know better by now, I really did. I suppose I'll just have to teach you your place again, won't I?" the Reaper stated calmly as he advanced on his prey. Sebastian's eyes widened, almost comically, as he realised exactly where this was going.

"William, Will, I have, um... work, no, I need to... fix my hair, yes, it's a mess, I just have to go," the demon stuttered, trying is best to imitate Grell's usually flirtatious tone, which was difficult when there was a very seductive Reaper trying to bite your ear. William rolled his eyes, gripping Sebastian by the chin and leaning in for-

"Bloody hell, get away from me!" Sebastian screeched, before punching William in the face and all but leaping out the door.

"Grell-senpai, what's wrong?"

"Not now, Goggles, just stay away from me!" Ronald stared, gobsmacked, as who he thought was Grell ran through the corridors, seemingly getting more and more lost by the second.

"Grell-senpai just keeps getting weirder..."

* * *

><p>Grell had made it. He'd lived through the whole day. The kitchen had blown up, there was no garden left to speak of, and the entire manor was covered in shattered tableware, but still, he had survived. Until it was time for Ciel to go to bed.<p>

"Sebastian, why are you just standing there? Undress me, I'm tired," he demanded, and it was all Grell could do not to scream in horror.

"Why can't you do it yourself? Brat, how old are you, and you can't even dress yourself!" the Reaper snapped, throwing all caution to the wind. After all, he had already ruined whatever reputation the demon had.

"Sebastian, how dare you speak to me like that, I-"

"No, no, ignore him, he has demon flu, he's not himself!" Grell's head snapped up as his body slammed through the door, hair a mess and face flushed.

'Look at that, he can't even take care of my appearance for one day! Typical! Doesn't he realise how long it takes to look _that _fabulous?' Grell thought to himself, frowning at Sebastian's sudden arrival. 'How did he get away from Will?'

"Demon flu?"

"Yes, it's not fatal, but it can be quite dangerous for humans to be around an infected demon, as they tend to get out of control. I'd better take him to the Reaper infirmary until he recovers," Sebastian explained, ever the quick thinker, before dragging Grell out of the mansion.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear those two had swapped personalities."

* * *

><p>"So, what's the plan again?" Grell asked as he trailed along behind Sebastian. The demon rolled his currently two-toned eyes, not even sparing him a glance.<p>

"I've told you, Grell, we go to Scotland Yard, break Dr. Connell out of her cell, and get her to fix whatever the hell you did." Grell began to defend himself, but thought better of it. He knew that look on his own face. It was the look that just screamed 'dead prostitutes'.

"What if she doesn't help? What if she met a really hot guy in prison and doesn't want to come out? What if she's fallen in love with him and got knocked up? And now she wants to live in prison with the love of her life and get married and raise their child together?" Grell mused, fiddling with the ends of Sebastian's short hair.

"Grell?"

"Yes, Sebas-chan?"

"Shut up."

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

_I've had this chapter written for about a week now, and yet I just kept forgetting to type it up. This is going to be the last chapter of this fic, but it was twice the size of the other two chapters in my notebook to make up for that, and even bigger if you add in the two page epilogue. So, I'd like everyone that stuck with me while I was writing this, especially to those who reviewed and favourited. Because I really love favourites and reviews. Especially the latter. So, my dear readers, enjoy this final instalment, and pretty please review :3_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the crazy doctor lady.**

**The Red Button Of Certain Doom: Chapter 3**

Grell's long, luscious hair billowed in the wind, making him appear as graceful as ever as he perched on the rooftops.

Or, at least, it should have.

Grell frowned at his silhouette in front of him. Sebastian had insisted on tying his hair back, and the Reaper was not impressed.

'How dare he tamper with my good looks? I should be getting revenge for this! The things I could do to this body...' Grell thought, running his slender fingers along the surprisingly soft lips of his current body. There were a lot of things that could be done in a body like that.

"...Grell, are you even listening to me?"

The Reaper was rudely pulled from his thoughts, and just as he was getting to the good part.

"Sorry, Sebby, lost in the sound of my own voice, I suppose. What were you saying?" The demon rolled his eyes, beckoning for his companion to join him at the roof's edge.

"We need to get past those guards if we're going to let the doctor out."

"Well, I can't exactly flirt my way through in this body, so what do you suggest?"

"I need you to tell me how to summon your death scythe, I keep trying, but it just won't work," Sebastian explained, but Grell shook his head furiously.

"No way, darlin', if I can't have my death scythe, neither can you," he insisted.

"Grell, stop being so ridiculous! Do you want your own body back or not? I need it!"

"No can do, Sebas-chan. Besides, if Will ever found out I told you, or about any of this, I'd be demoted for sure. And worse still, I probably wouldn't even get any sexy time for the next week." Sebastian's left eye twitched slightly at the mention of William T. Spears. That was not a man that the demon wanted to think about right now, or ever for that matter, especially not coupled with the phrase "sexy time."

"Fine, fine. How do you suggest we get rid of them then?" Sebastian sighed, waiting for something extravagantly ridiculous.

"The old fashioned way, Sebby. Nothing better," Grell grinned, holding up a large rock. After all, ridiculous was what Grell did best.

* * *

><p>Dr. Connell was bored out of her wits. During her brief stay in prison, she had not fallen in love with a handsome man, as Grell had predicted. In fact, she had yet to meet a handsome man at all. Her cell mate had just been so ugly when she arrived, and so she had taken her dinner tray and mangled his face with it. She had only been trying to help, yet they put her in solitary confinement for all her troubles.<p>

The doctor's head snapped up at the sudden chaos of noise from the rest of the prison, her pale blonde curls obscuring her vision slightly. The other inmates were yelling and rattling the bars of their cells, and it sounded like the guards were nowhere to be found. Slowly, Dr. Connell moved towards the door of her cell, trying her best to find out what was going on.

"Well, hey there, Dr. Connell, how wonderful to see you. I love the hair by the way; the blood stains are a nice touch." The doctor jumped back, startled, as Grell appeared at the door, crimson eyes glowing and a manic grin in place.

"Thanks, I must say, I thought so myself. Do I know you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the new arrivals.

"No, you don't, but it seems we are in need of your assistance, doctor. We ran into some trouble in your basement, and one of your machines caused quite the mix up," Sebastian explained calmly as he unlocked her cell.

"And if I help you out, I go free, right?" Grell studied Sebastian, fully expecting him to say no. He was in for a little surprise.

"If it gets me out of this body, you can go anywhere you please."

* * *

><p>"So, what did you do to all the guards?" Dr. Connell asked as the trio walked through London to get to her lab.<p>

"Let's just say, they're having a nice, rock-induced, sleep, all cuddled up in rope," Grell giggled, checking out his reflection in a shop window. Sebastian swore he had even seen the Reaper grope his own ass every now and then. The demon wasn't even in his own body, and yet he still felt violated. Sebastian couldn't wait for the whole ordeal to end.

'_Buzzzzz'_

If Sebastian had been anybody else in that time period, he would have jumped out of his skin at the vibrating in his pocket, and then probably called the exorcist. But he was not anybody else, and he wasn't particularly fond of exorcists besides, and so instead, he calmly removed the offending object from his pocket, the small, flashing device that Grell called a 'phone'.

"Oooh, William! Sebas-chan, answer it for me!" Grell squealed, catching the demon red-handed before he could hide it.

"A-absolutely not, Grell! I refuse to speak to that perve- pretentious shinigami. You speak to him all you like when you give me my body back," Sebastian replied, a sigh of relief escaping as the phone finally stopped buzzing.

"Ten missed calls? Seriously? Wonder what's so important..." Grell mused, before Sebastian placed the phone back in his pocket. The demon had a good idea what William wanted, but needless to say, there was no way he was ever bringing up that incident.

"I don't know, let's just hurry, shall we?"

* * *

><p>"Which machine was it that you used?" the doctor asked as they entered her basement.<p>

"The one with the shiny, red button, the colour of blood," stated Grell, whereas Sebastian merely pointed.

"That one... Wait, you mean you two are in the wrong bodies? Really? Oh, wow, that means it actually works! I must record my miraculous... discovery..." she exclaimed, her excitement withering beneath the glares of the two immortals.

"Can you fix this, or not, Dr. Connell?"

"Nope, you've got to fix it yourselves. You need to learn to live in harmony, and only then will you... Oh, I'm joking, just let me adjust a few things."

"At least things will be back to normal soon, eh, Sebas-chan?" Grell chirped, wrapping his arms around the demon.

"Thankfully. This has been the longest day of my existence. And please, remove your hands from my person."

"Y'know... Technically, it's _my _person..."

Sebastian found himself thanking every higher being he knew of, that before Grell could finish his sentence, he was cut off by the same blinding light that had started it all.

* * *

><p>The first thing Grell noticed when he woke up was the red hair invading his vision. He grinned happily, running his tongue lightly over his shark-like teeth.<p>

"Sebby! Ooh, I'm back to normal, I'm me again, isn't it fabulous!" he squealed, jumping onto his companion. Sebastian sighed dramatically, pushing the Reaper to the ground, but there was no feeling in it. He was just glad to be himself again.

"Dr. Connell, thank you for your assistance. You go free, though I suggest you leave London as soon as possible. I do not wish to hear of you again. Grell... well, let's just go home, forget this happened, and never speak of it again."

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

"Oh, William... Will? Sorry I didn't call you back, I've just had the strangest of d- Oh, my word, William! What happened to your handsome face?" Grell screeched at the sight of his lover. William was sat at his desk, an ice-pack held over his head, nursing a large bump and a black eye.

"_You happened, _Sutcliff, when you punched me in the face!" he snapped, glaring at the red-head.

"Will, what are you talking about, I would never... Oh... What were you doing when that happened, darling?"

"Foolishly, I was trying to kiss you, Sutcliff. I suppose that was my first mistake." Grell's eyes widened as he realised exactly why Sebastian had punched the love of his life. And then after thinking about it for a moment, he really wasn't sure whether to be jealous or just plain turned on at the thought of the two of them together. And then he realised, that if he wanted to keep what little sanity he had left, he had better not dwell on it.

"Sorry about that, love, I thought I was getting a cold sore, didn't want you to catch it," Grell lied, kissing the uninjured side of William's face. "Allow me to make it up to you," he promised, moving to massage his lover's shoulders. Sebastian had a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Sebastian was reminded of the position he had left his Master in earlier that evening. The young Earl was tangled in a pile of night clothes, hair a mess, eye patch askew. It was at times like that, even Sebastian had to resort to a facepalm.<p>

"Sebastian, you idiot, where have you been? You know I can't manage buttons. Get me ready for bed this instant!" he snapped, somehow maintaining a shred of dignity.

"Yes, my Lord."

**The End.**


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